Have you ever wondered why individuals will go to such extreme lengths to receive a compliment, searching for someone to massage their ego? It's almost as if people are starving to hear something great said about themselves. However, even when somebody receives a compliment it can be challenging to hold on to the feeling that it inspires. This is particularly true due to the volume of negative comments people usually receive. Many times, even when we obtain an equal number of positive and negative comments it is easier to concentrate on the negative. Why? Essentially, because the ego feels threatened, which attacks right at the foundation of our self-worth. Contrary to the views of many who say we are able to only grow if we "kill the ego", the ego is an integral and important component of everyone's character. Consequently, it's something that we must learn to deal with in a correct manner in order to assist others function within a positive mind-set.
Many people have the misconception that having an ego is really a bad thing that should be squashed. What they fail to understand is the fact that everyone has an ego and it plays an important role in everything that we do. It could drive us to fantastic achievements, either positive or negative, based on how it has been focused. So, what is the "ego"? It has been defined as human dignity, personality, or individual uniqueness but regardless of how it's defined, it demands respect. Each individual is unique and distinctive and having that aspect recognized is the most powerful drive known. To the point where people who receive very little recognition will do ridiculous, obnoxious, completely random and baffling things to become accepted or applauded. It is part of the human DNA and cannot be denied. A perfect example of this phenomenon may be discovered in nearly any large gathering of students on a college campus. Whether it be at sporting events (in body-paint and shirtless) or parties (intoxicated and attempting dares), individuals will join a crowd for the opportunity to stand out within the crowd. Even though it sounds counter-intuitive it's repeated over and over, anything to be accepted and applauded.
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Feed Your Ego
The key to having a positive focus and drive is via proper "feeding" of the ego. This comes through positive reinforcement of what's good about a person and helping them develop those characteristics instead of unfavorable elements that drive other people away. As we deal with people, particularly in a one-on-one setting you will find four facts that we have to keep in mind. These were expressed by author Les Giblin in the Art of Dealing with People.
1. We're all egotists.
2. We're much more interested in thinking about ourselves than in anything else.
3. Each person you meet desires to feel important and "amount to something".
4. There's a craving in everyone for the approval of other people, so that he can approve of himself.
The issue comes when these needs aren't met and people must search out their own recognition. At that point is when problems with becoming self-centered and conceited begin to crop up. If other people will not show appreciation for who they are or what they've done, then they'll proclaim their own greatness. Have you ever known anybody like this? Regardless of what was happening they had to be the center of attention and always seemed to "know" more than anybody else. There usually seems to be one in every group. While we usually wish to just run away or stuff them inside a closet, the best way to deal with this kind of behavior is actually acknowledge what they're good at and give sincere compliments.
Build Their Ego
The objective is to assist people feel better about themselves. To actually like themselves! When somebody comes to terms with himself and likes himself, then usually he will be on good terms with others, also. This is such an essential and integral skill to have in any and all interactions. This is particularly true for those of us who are developing a team or network of people that we're focusing on helping to succeed. No matter what the venture, if you're truly going to help someone they must first feel confident and worthy of success. When that occurs, they'll not only begin influencing other people and in all likelihood earn money but it also engenders a fierce sense of loyalty and camaraderie that's unlikely to be broken. Understand that this can't be carried out through false flattery or insincere platitudes. It must be done with genuine compliments and accurate praise at every interaction. As this goes on and their self-confidence increases then their self-worth will manifest through humbleness and acceptance.
The better you become at enhancing others egos, the greater the influence you'll yield and also the greater the network you'll develop. Make a specific effort every day to help others enhance their self-esteem. Genuinely care about other people and watch your own growth exceed your expectations. An incredible resource to assist you learn and refine skills in personal interaction, networking and team building is a source known as My Lead System Pro. It has a distinctive benefit of being a generic platform that may help people from all walks of life. This system (MLSP), offers access to training, mentorship, and a helpful team atmosphere that can be extremely beneficial. Regardless of what RESOURCES you use, the essential factor to keep in mind is, build people up! Grow yourself through growing others.
Enjoy the journey!
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