Have you ever stepped into a group setting and watched the interactions of the individuals already present? Have you observed who appears to possess the most influence and to whom most people gravitate? Doesn't it appear like these individuals have a presence about them that just draws other people to them? When people are with them, they seem to become more energized, confident and excited. Is that how it is with you? Are you currently the person that people are attracted to and appear to draw energy from? Perhaps that happens occasionally, but you're not quite sure why or how you can re-create it. Thankfully, it's a skill you are able to learn and use to influence the people and atmosphere around you. I don't mean this in a negative way, where you're exerting some type of crazy control over individuals. But, in the event you really wish to positively influence those around you and enhance your every day interactions with everyone you encounter, it's in your control.
Have you wondered why some interactions have gone much better than others? Why did one individual appear to snap at you and treat you poorly whilst another approached you warmly and with respect? Was it just a random occurrence or the product of one person's bad day? While that is a possibility, think back on the numerous conversations you've had but, do not just concentrate on the other persons actions. What were your actions and attitudes just before the conversations? Were you in a positive or negative state of mind? Were you open and inviting or closed off and in a hurry? Many times the reactions that we receive from the individuals we speak with are just a mirrored reflection of what we're giving them. So, we to think about how we're approaching those around us and make certain we're giving what we'd prefer to receive.
"You have to adopt the attitude you want others to express." Les Giblin
Do You have Influence?
In some ways, it's kind of a bummer to know that we are a significant contributor to the reactions and responses that we get from people. It indicates that we can't just arbitrarily blame everybody else for a bad or negative encounter. However, if you think of it in the correct way, now you realize you have a larger say in what does occur. Usually, people wish to act appropriately. How do we, or anybody for that matter, know what is appropriate? It's frequently based on those around us and if you begin the conversation in a positive and uplifting way then other people will generally follow along. They'll unconsciously want to live up to the expectations which have been placed on the situation. So, merely by controlling our own attitude and emotions we influence those around us.
If you're developing a team of people or are networking in any way, these kinds of abilities are very helpful and can make or break your efforts. A very useful resource that we've discovered in teaching attraction marketing is a website known as My Lead System Pro (MLSP). This is a generic networking and marketing platform that teaches not just mindset but applicable and duplicatable skills. Take a look and see if MLSP is something that may make sense for you personally.
One factor to always keep in mind is to SMILE! If you smile, the other person smiles. If you frown, they frown; and if you shout, they shout right back. This is |useful to keep in mind whenever you discover yourself in a tense situation. If you can maintain your composure and keep your tone low or soft, it almost forces them to do the same thing. It prevents anger from growing and becoming explosive. It should be done early, though, simply because as soon as the other person becomes angry it is too late. Understanding this may help you |steer clear of more challenging circumstances and will help you begin to develop a reputation of having the ability to be well| balanced and easy to deal with. There are some specific skills that you will wish to develop to help you as you work with more and more people. If you use these correctly, your encounters and growth with other people will probably be much smoother.
"I have found that the best way to get another to acquire a virtue is to impute it to them." Winston Churchill
Use Positive Influence
1. Be Enthusiastic: enthusiasm is catching, people wish to be around it and will follow it. Make it an integral component of your character.
2. Be Confident: when you are confident, it imparts confidence to other people. If you anticipate and assume success then others will do the same.
How do you convey confidence? It is not only by what you say but also the little things which you do, as well. Your actions must follow suit with your words or there will be a disconnect that those around you feel. When that occurs, your influence becomes diminished. To keep that from taking place, Les Giblin says you need to "put some magnetism in your personality" and addresses some specifics to follow in his book, The Art of Dealing with People.
1. Watch your walk: your physical actions express your mental attitude. Walk with a purpose, with your head up as well as your shoulders back.
2. Watch your handshake: a firm but not bone-crushing handshake conveys confidence and good self-esteem that does not need to prove anything. Also avoid the "dead fish" handshake because it portrays no self-confidence.
3. Watch your tone: most expression occurs through your voice so, make certain your message is clear, firm and avoids whining. Stay away from mumbling and any sense of hopelessness, always portray courage and the ability to move forward.
4. Watch your smile: keep your smile genuine and sincere. It conveys openness, self-confidence and trustworthiness.
If you can keep these simple things in mind as you go through your every day interactions, soon it'll become second nature. You'll experience greater success and greater "influence" with those around you. People will want to be around you and will be more easily drawn to you. Watch as your relationships, team building and business growth improve significantly. All simply because you take the time to enhance the way you interact and subtly |manage your environment. If you're searching for a system that can help you develop these and other skills, an excellent resource to turn to is My Lead System Pro. MLSP can offer numerous helpful resources and contacts with leaders who can direct you to useful training, help get you unstuck and provide you with the ability to positively influence other people. Take the time to truly look.
Be in control!
Enjoy the Journey!
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